THE 'ASO-EBI' DRAMA

So today I was going through my Facebook feed and couldn't agree more with Olajumoke Alawode-Jame an old media friend back in Nigeria. I'm sure a lot of Nigerians especially the Yorubas can relate to this. I have always had my reservations on the viral 'aso-ebi' trend, it feels like Olajumoke peeped into my mind. Her write up is a must read plus she looks gorgeous in that photo

"Ebi" in Yoruba Language signifies a relative, a family member. So "aso ebi" is family wear. When it's a family event, what I complain mostly about is the cost of the "aso ebi". I always know one family member or the other who can't afford the aso ebi. But no one wants to look different, so we would rather borrow, get indebted to wear aso ebi. I've never liked the trend. Before, it used to be forimmediate family members, siblings. And they would (rightly), buy the aso ebi for the sibling that couldn't afford it. Today, the lace merchants have commercialized this culture.

ALL the aso oke in my mothers wardrobe (and they are a lot), are aso ebi. She told me she has never bought aso oke from the market. Similar colors, similar patterns, outrageous prices; there's always a friend, friends' friend or church member who has an occasion to buy aso ebi for. I find myself taking after her as I grow. I've never been to the market to buy gele. ALL I have, are aso ebi. In the days of my mum, they wore their Sunday bests to church, so the aso oke and lace were worn to church (so it wasn't really a waste). With the advent of Pentecostal churches dressing less formally, we only wear big laces and aso oke on special occasions like Christmas or New Year. So most of our aso ebi are hardly worn after the event it was bought for. Because, you will purchase another one for the next event. It's a money making venture for most these days.
1. They say it makes events colourful. Why don't you choose a colour for the day? And the people who can afford a new attire can decide to go to the market to get something new if they don't have that colour.
2. They say they don't want one big madam to dress better than the celebrant. Really? Who sees what anyone else is wearing? (Some people do o. That's their stock-in-trade; to check out other people's gold and lace). And so, if someone dresses better, does that take away (or should it take away) from the joy of your occasion? And no matter how expensive your aso ebi, it's always going to be too cheap for one "big madam", so you can't really stop someone who wants to dress gaily.
3. They say they want uniformity. I've never walked into ANY event and there was 90% uniformity. Some people just won't be able to afford it (the sensible ones who refuse to borrow that is). Some will buy it and make it look different (they want to stand out).
4. They say people use it to make some money to cater for the costs of their event. Why are you organising a party you can't afford? And taxing people? I know there is no small event but we should learn to do within our limits. No shame in that. You will be able to afford a bigger party (if its of that importance to you), years down the line. Don't inconvenience people to do more than yourself today.
5. They say it's for souvenirs. This is another abnormality. Before, people brought gifts to occasions. Now, after buying your expensive aso ebi, they come empty handed and the onus of giving them gifts falls on you. No be me o. It's my celebration. I'm going to be expecting your gifts. Well, I'm not going to be selling you any aso ebi to save my life.
Please be very clear about this. This is a fantastic Yoruba culture. I love it (especially when I can afford it). But it has become too commercialised. It's now absurd. I even hear waiters would skip people who don't wear aso ebi when serving food. Can you imagine? I find it hard to sit for 6 hours at any event doing nothing really than eating meals that I can't guarantee their hygienic conditions. For you to then skip me because I'm not wearing the "uniform" for an event I was invited too... Trust me, I won't be caught dead at such an event. It's not really about the food, it's about sharing the joys of your occasion with you. I don't enjoy "owanbes" and all the attending stress. If I want to enjoy myself, I'd rather go dancing and eating at a joint of my choice, where everyone is at my beck and call because I'm a paying customer and customer is king. Selah!
Note: The best events I have attended, are those with a few of us in attendance. Food gets to everyone in minutes. There's no stress attendant with a large crowd. Everyone knows everyone (mostly family and very close friends). We get to dance happily for yonks and we come bearing gifts. (I mean you would go with a gift for your family or close friend). You don't need a crowd to have a great event. The most important people will stand by you, you will have fun and have money left in your bank account. Don't let societal pressure get you into the owanbe culture that leaves most homes unhappy before the event has ended. I'm out!